Nabil and I arrived at 6:50 p.m. to an Instagram party that started at 7:00 p.m. Caught up in gossiping about our friends, we didn’t realize the time when we strutted onto the boat ten minutes before the party began. The woman at the front desk heard our intruding footsteps interrupt her phone scrolling time and without looking up at us began to radio to someone, “uh, can we start bringing people up yet?”
“Oh. Shall we walk around the harbor park?” I mumbled to Nabil as we sheepishly, quietly backed out of the boat and back onto the sidewalk. What embarrassing eager beavers we are.
At 7:01 p.m., our bellies grumbled and we quickly forgot our shame as we recalled our hard-earned $45/ticket spent and boarded the ship.
The party was hosted by SwagFoodPhilly – an Instagram account run by two very thin girls who take a lot of pretty pictures of food. Let me give you my top takeaways from the shindig:
- If you are under 25, you don’t come to a party to socialize, you come to play with your phone in an area where pretty stuff is likely to be near. Granted, we may have only made friends with the over 25 crowd because, well, we have wrinkles and shit in out teeth five minutes into any outing.
- A woman spent 20 minutes completely unashamed having her friends take pictures of her as she sat on the railing of the boat. The number of pics taken was similar to the number I take of myself when I’m alone, trying to get the right angle of the weird pimple on my ass to send to my husband at work to see if he thinks “it’s something”. Both activities are ugly and should be relegated to the privacy of one’s home.
- The food at an Instagram party about food, is fucking great. The presentation is magnifique and pretty creative.
- The Moshulu has in fact not remodeled since I had my U Penn Tabard formal there a decade ago. There are no longer kids doing coke in the bathrooms though (at least during this party).
- I think these professional Instagram people don’t actually take pictures with their phones. They’re using professional cameras (and professional photogs). I may be late to this revelation but this partly explains why my pics are so cut-rate in comparison.
- People at Instagram parties take amazing pictures. We asked a stranger to take a pic and it’s the best picture anyone has ever taken of me. I’m horribly un-photogenic. Yet, she miraculously snapped my ho-hum body into shape and gave my girlfriend, Lexy, even dewier skin. Without any filters or re-touching. Pretty good.
- This was a great time.
Pop culture enthusiast. Lover of all things Philly. Amateur Chef. Planner of fun date nights.